The Genuine Professor Dr Joyce Befu, GM 66, MEGA-1 lady and commander of the seas, the underground, and the air, our one and only leader of our excellently perceptive delegation asked to join her on a trip to the Republic of Visanza.
Here members of the republic’s minority party had the audacity last week to mock the poor by wearing suits, skirts, blouses, stockings, and underwear made from maize sacks pretending that they were mourning, crying and commiserating with the poor.
We are lodged at a small but nice place. We will not reveal its name.
Since we came here, we have heard loud voices and whispers to the effect that Visanzians do not like poverty and they do not, therefore, like anyone mocking them by pretending that he is poor or crying on their behalf without being commissioned.
All MPs in the Republic of Visanza’s parliament receive hefty sums in salaries, allowances, and freebies. As we criss-cross Lingadzi, the capital city of this republic, where the parliament buildings are, we witness the buying spree that the MPs are undertaking. Everybody, even Biggie, is wearing smart clothes and driving, or being driven in their huge new, or almost new vehicles, bought without paying tax to the Republic of Visanza.
Why the political class of the Republic of Visanza is allowed to legally evade tax only the Almighty Jah Rastafari understands. Elsewhere everybody pays income tax, but in the Republic of Visanza, the poor pay tax to ensure that the political class enjoys itself and in turn wears sacks to mock the very Visanzians that pay tax through their noses.
The MPs here travel around, not in sacks, but in designer clothes and in designer hair dye yet the very Visanzians the MPs claim to represent have no luxury of pretending.
Yesterday, we travelled to the fresh foods market at a place called Senti Lingadzi.
We will not repeat what was said there. Suffice to say that everybody was swearing in the local language, Chavisanza. Everyone was blaming one’s woes on every leader but especially the Sacks and Pants Party (SSPP), which is currently in the minority but was responsible for stealing from and emptying, no, desecrating the Visanza national vault.
“Mohashoi, how do you interpret the politics of this great Republic of Visanza?“Jean-Philippe asked.
“I stopped commenting on politics, particularly in a foreign country,” I responded.
“Just say the politicians have used you, abused you, accused you and dumped you!”
“Meaning?”
“Why should one stop commenting on events? Commenting on rich people wearing sacks and rags in the 21st century to dramatize their love for the poor is not political. So, I suspect, sometime someone somewhere hit you where it pains most,” Jean-Philippe went on.
“And where is that?” Abiti asked, barely muffling her laughter.
“Certainly, it can’t be the central production region!” I laughed.
“The psyche!” Jean-Philippe, “Andre Malraux once wrote that the worst pain is that which is inflicted into a person’s psyche, a person’s pride. Activities like kneeling before someone powerful reduces one’s standing among one’s children and juniors.”
“What nationality is Malraux?”
“Francais, of course. Who else can be this wise!”
Visanzians don’t like such pomposity.”
“ My apologies if I hit you where it pains most!”
“Enough, boys!” Abiti called the delegation to order
