how to survive in Johannesburg?

  1. If you get offered a quick Job, no matter how broke
    you’re, walk away.Say No & don’t look back; even if it’s for
    charity, Baleka!
  2. No earphones while walking in the CBD.
  3. When you see a lot of People running & Shouting
    “Vimba” Just know sh*t’s about to go down, Some ass
    whooping.
  4. When someone offers to sell a brand new smartphone
    at a cheapest price in the CBD, Baleka!
  5. Don’t act stupid when you see celebrities at Braam /
    NewTown they’re always there.
  6. Do not wear Mini Skirts in Jo’burg CBD
  7. Never go to China Mall alone, that side is a bit quiet &
    dangerous; You will be jacked.
  8. In a TAXI Close your nearest window especially if you’re
    using a taxi from Rivonia or Morningside, as soon as you
    enter Hillbrow put your phone away. Only take out your
    phone on the freeway because these local born Nyaope
    Boys Have skills on opening the Window from outside to
    access your phone, and It happens so freaking fast.
  9. If you see someone with a big bag asking for taxi money
    to go home trust me, those streets are his home, they
    always have that bag & that Story, so Just keep moving
  10. Those Nigerian guys by those Small Shops at Bree Taxi
    Rank will always stop you & say ” Don’t you wanna sell your
    PHONE for Good Money” Just say NO & flee fast.
  11. Also when you see a guy “accidentally” dropping a
    stack of cash” don’t pick up the money, just mind your own
    business & keep walking faster.
  12. It Helps to walk where everyone walks, there are no
    short cuts in JOZI.
  13. Never ask for direction especially at MTN taxi rank, it
    costs R100.
  14. If you see a cow falling from the sky, don’t look
    surprised just keep on walking.
  15. Never say sorry
  16. Never let anyone help you carry your bag, no matter
    how heavy it is.. Never.
  17. Finally, The First Corner Rule. Very Important!! If you
    find yourself walking alone & you see people following &
    your Instinct tells you shit’s about to go down you’re damn
    right, shit’s about to go down so stay calm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *